Moody Mind

a-m-a-n-i

punchself

i want to throw up when i think about the past and all the people that i used to be friends with and all the wrong things ive done and all the things ive said that i shouldnt have

expplore

voulair

me @ the stars: help me

3:00 am thoughts about little things

I went on a date. It was all so unexpected. I met him at a crowded place just in case. When I saw him sitting there, I didn’t know what to do. He saw me & then stood up. At that moment I wanted the floor underneath me to open & swallow me.I was still shaking & i was unsure if I go for the handshake or for the hug so I went for both. I was starving so we ate but the food was horrible! Corner Bakery is usually pretty okay but this time it was shit. When we sat I noticed I was on my phone a lot pretending to text someone but I was texting nobody. I was just so nervous. He was on his phone too. I wondered if he was texting some other girl or his friends telling him how ugly I was or something. I wanted to ask him so many things but my mind was not present & I was hoping for him to do all the questioning. I feel that I was very boring & solid with all my responses but hey, I was nervous af.He made me promise him I wouldn’t skip class but it was only for that day so it was no big deal. We walked around for a bit & i realized he was such a sweet & caring guy.He bought his mom a candle. Like who the fuck does that nowadays!! Everyone is so selfish & want all the things for themselves. I don’t even remember the last time I bought my mom something.He made me realize little things count no matter how insignificant the object might be. I’m usually really quick on picking up things but with him was really hard for me to read him. I usually always remember the little things about people but I had such a hard time remembering his age or his cars nickname. Man, I really wish I could go back & expose myself a little more to him. I hope this isn’t the last time we hangout because I’m starting to like him. I also hope he doesn’t consider me as a “ little sister” like the rest might . I’m just like the candle, I’m waiting to be burnt up & show you all I got.

grant